The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.
As a teenager, I didn’t understand that saying you’re a feminist is just saying that you hope women and men will have equal rights and equal opportunities. What it seemed to me, the way it was phrased in culture, society, was that you hate men. And now, I think a lot of girls have had a feminist awakening because they understand what the word means. For so long it’s been made to seem like something where you’d picket against the opposite sex, whereas it’s not about that at all. Becoming friends with Lena – without her preaching to me, but just seeing why she believes what she believes, why she says what she says, why she stands for what she stands for – has made me realise that I’ve been taking a feminist stance without actually saying so.
joking over breakfast one morning, my
uncle and brother agree that
they will make sure the women they marry are
nothing like me, we laugh together, they then
in turn bring home women who are
nothing like me- gentle creatures with
quiet hands, soothing words perched and primed at the backs
of their throats, hearts open and ready to be
made homes of- i remember
the joke about how i am not the kind of
woman to make a home of; i remember
now that it was not a joke.
Yeah, totally Kafkaesque. Majorly.
I don’t know shit about photography, but the person who took this shot must be given the highest award of them all.
this is breathtaking
THERE IS A WHOLE CATEGORY OF HOGWARTS ATMOSPHERES ON AMBIENT-MIXER. SO IF YOU HAVE WIFI AND WANT TO FEEL LIKE YOU’RE AT THE CASTLE, CLICK HERE.
When I was a student at Cambridge I remember an anthropology professor holding up a picture of a bone with 28 incisions carved in it. “This is often considered to be man’s first attempt at a calendar” she explained. She paused as we dutifully wrote this down. ‘My question to you is this – what man needs to mark 28 days? I would suggest to you that this is woman’s first attempt at a calendar.’ It was a moment that changed my life. In that second I stopped to question almost everything I had been taught about the past. How often had I overlooked women’s contributions?
my dad died from ALS when i was 3 years old. he was 36. my mom was 33. that was 30 years ago. now i’m the same age my mom was when my dad died. and there is still no cure for ALS.
this is what happens when you have ALS: your muscles slowly stop working, one part at a time. for my dad, first he couldn’t use one of his hands. then his arm. then the other arm. then he couldn’t walk. then he couldn’t stand up. then he couldn’t talk. then he couldn’t swallow. then he couldn’t breathe. then he was dead.
this all took about two years. he was diagnosed when i was about one year old. the only memories i have about my dad are of an inert body in a wheelchair or lying in a bed with a bunch of tubes stuck into it. as i was learning to talk, he was losing the ability to speak. as i was learning to walk, he stopped being able to move. my mom often had to choose between who she was going to help go to the bathroom at any given moment: her husband or her toddler.
after my dad died, my mom took over the philadelphia chapter of the ALS association. it consisted of a shoebox full of notecards with names on it. now it is a multi-million dollar organization with a large staff. she is still in charge. my mom is one of the most amazing people on the planet, basically.
these past couple weeks have been mind-boggling. i have openly wept watching so many of these videos. i still don’t completely get how all of this has happened, but now we live in a world in which lil wayne and taylor swift and oprah and justin timberlake and weird al and bill gates talk about ALS. my mom just emailed me this sentence: “lebron james ice bucket challenge.” i mean, IS THIS REAL LIFE?! i just keep saying over and over: holy shit. holy shit. holy shit.
so far, it has raised over 10 million dollars… and counting. my mom has spent every single day of her life for the past three decades trying to get this kind of attention and funds for this disease.
i don’t care if it’s a stupid gimmick. i don’t care if people are just doing this because it’s trendy or because they want pats on the back. i don’t care if it’s the new harlem shake. i don’t care if for the rest of my life, when i talk about ALS, i have to say “you know, the ice bucket disease.”
please, everybody, please keep pouring buckets of ice over your heads. please keep donating money. please keep talking about this.
my mom’s chapter:
So this is what trust looks like.
Funny, my first thought was “So this is what the patriarchy looks like.”
Yup. This is how women are supposed to trust men. With their lives.
Woman : “Hey, can we just… Drop the bow?”
Man : “WHY DON’T YOU TRUST ME I’M NOT A VIOLENT GUY, YOU ARE INSULTING ME THINKING I WILL HURT YOU!!!”
Woman : “No it’s just… Well I’m afraid.”
Man : “But why? Look at me, I’m not afraid. And we’re equal, look, we pull the bow together.”
Woman : “I think we’re not equal, you can kill me with the arrow and I can’t.”
Man : “What? So you would like to be able to kill me? You’re so agressive!”
Woman : “That’s not what I mean, we were talking about equality : you can hurt me, I can’t.”
Man : “Of course you can. You can hit me with the bow if you want.”
Woman : “That’s not the same thing, it will never kill you.”
Man : “Oh, you always complaining, stop victimising yourself! Do I talk about the difficulty of holding the arrow? Of the responsibility it giving to me?”
Every debates about gender equality, ladies and gentleman.
Shut the fuck up.